on the stage

Off the Bathroom Wall

By Jeremy Perleberg
Staff Writer

    Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the greatest bathroom poet of all? Despite all the derogatory, racial and sexist remarks that make up much of the bathroom wall writing, there are some amazing works of poetry that go unnoticed by many.
     The field research done to obtain the information for this article included going into bathrooms and jotting down poems and shrugging off funny looks from the others using the urinal. It seemed that when it comes to the writings on the bathroom wall, the female gender uses the wall space in a more serious tone. They use the space provided to express thoughts on friendships and not so much disrespect others, which their male counterparts seem to do more often than not. A degrading example is this poem taken from the men’s urinal on the first floor of Lommen Hall on the Minnesota State University Moorhead campus:
Die faggots die
All faggots should die
     So, why, do people write on the bathroom walls? One may never know, but what better place to have ones work read, than where someone is confined to their 4 -by-6 foot stall, taking care of business while their eyes scan the walls of the stall. But is this the place where these pieces of poetry belong? Some of these works should be published in a book, not on the wall in the urinal. A poem that falls into this category is this untitled piece of work:

     Good friends don’t always talk
     Sometimes they simply walk
     Preoccupied together it doesn’t matter
     If they stop to speak a smile or daydream awhile
     For they are friends no less
     When they share quietness
     Their bond has made them free
     To let the silence be.

This particular poem sounds like something that might come out of works of Robert Frost, not the door of the first stall on the left at a Moorhead, Minn., tavern called Kirby’s. As with most bathroom wall poems, the author seemed to knowingly forget to sign her name. Didn’t she want credit for her words of thought?

That is not the problem at the Moorhead tavern called Mick’s Office. It's the type of bar with a small town atmosphere, where it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to purchase a drink. You give the bartender $5 for a couple of frosty brews, and you get enough change back to feed the jukebox all night. At Mick’s, writing on the walls is encouraged. Anyone can purchase a piece of the ceiling tile and write or draw on it for $10.
“We have a couple of markers up by the bar which we let people use to write on the walls,” said Steve Palmer, owner of Mick’s for the past two decades. “When there gets to be too much, we use paint thinner to clear some room so that others can write, too.”

So what inspires these bathroom poets to write such deep thoughts while in the bathroom? What’s going through one’s mind when he or she writes, “Nothing truly worth knowing can ever be taught,” while sitting on the toilet? Do they ever relax? Do they write their works down while they’re fresh in their minds so they can come back and copy it down later? According to Kristi Ystenes, a student at MSUM, bathroom wall poetry is about self-expression. “It’s a way to express yourself. I started in fifth grade when I saw a piece of work that my friend had done,” said Ystenes. Not only is it a release for her, she feels she entertains other bathroom visitors.

So, whenever you’re looking for bathroom literature to read, just look at the bathroom walls. Like the song “Bathroom Wall,” by 1980s rock band Faster Pussycat said: “I got your number off the bathroom wall. Boy, am I lucky that I didn’t use the other stall.”

Staff photo by Michael Weerts